#15: Digital Fortress by Dan Brown

My book group chose this book and I will never forgive them.

I’ve never read anything by Dan Brown.  He doesn’t write my type of fiction, so while I was aware that he’s a huge success, I never bothered to pick any of his books up because I knew I wouldn’t be interested.

What I didn’t know is how much of a shit writer he is.

I’m sure he cries into a giant pile of money every single time someone tells him that.

Digital Fortress is about the government and secrecy.  Susan Fletcher works for a super top secret government agency called NSA that cracks codes to read emails and save the world.  How do I remember that her name is Susan Fletcher?  Susan Fletcher is referred to as Susan Fletcher on every page that Susan Fletcher appears on.  Apparently Brown is worried that people won’t remember that Susan Fletcher is one of the main character is his book Digital Fortress by Dan Brown.

Susan Fletcher is the best code breaker NSA has.  Susan Fletcher is also beautiful and perfect and everyone loves her and wants to do her.  Susan Fletcher has a brilliant mind.  Susan Fletcher is also very attractive.  Susan Fletcher is also smart.  People look at Susan Fletcher and think to themselves “How does an IQ of 170 fit into a body that attractive?  I am going to think more of these thoughts so that the reader of Dan Brown’s Digital Fortress will know what Susan Fletcher looks like in the book Digital Fortress by Dan Brown.”

Your first drinking game is to take a shot every time someone chuckles.

Your next drinking game is to empty a Red Solo Cup every time someone’s eyes are described as strong hazel, deep green, inky black, sable, gray, or any other color that barely exists in real life.  Yes, people do have these eyes, and apparently they all live in Dan Brown’s world.  Dan Brown wrote the book Digital Fortress.

If you do not drink and are into health, do push ups or squats or something instead of pounding booze.  Either way, we’re all going to crumple to the floor and throw up.

When Susan Fletcher is called in to work on a Saturday by Commander Strathmore, head of NSA, Susan Fletcher knows that something must be very wrong.  Susan Fletcher was supposed to be on a vacation with her finance David Becker.  David Becker is beautiful and smart.  David Becker plays squash and no one minds when David Becker puts his entire head into the water fountain to wash away the sweat.  David Becker is that amazing.

Turns out that the Commander has sent David Becker, Susan Fletcher’s finance, to Spain, even though David Becker does not work for NSA.  Susan Fletcher thinks thoughts to tell the reader how important NSA is.

Seriously, how is this guy a big name writer? I just don’t get it.

Dan Brown, the author of Digital Fortress, does not have time for important things like “Show, don’t tell” when it comes to writing his books.  Dan Brown wants to get to the important things like telling the reader how intelligent and beautiful Susan Fletcher and David Becker are.  Susan Fletcher and David Becker are engaged.  Susan Fletcher and David Becker have been engaged for six months.  Susan Fletcher tells David Becker this when she says “You do remember we’re engaged, don’t you?” which is exactly what people in real life would say if they wanted to let you know that they were engaged.

Susan Fetcher stays underground in the NSA bunker trying to figure out what is wrong with their giant, enormous, massive, expensive, costly, top secret, classified translator project.  The computer is used to cull through email and crack codes and save the entire planet.  It has done so successfully.  But now it has found a code that it cannot crack and Susan Fletcher has to use her beautiful body and intelligent mind to solve the problem.

Meanwhile, in Spain, David Becker is on a crazy journey of his own.  He has to find a ring because it somehow has something to do with this code.  He is able to follow thin clues to track the ring from person to person.  Apparently David Becker, with no training (because if he had training, someone in the book Digital Fortress by Dan Brown, would have told us about it) becomes the world’s most brilliant detective.  Oh, and also David Becker is given stupid coincidences that tell him where to go next.  David Becker is smart and is able to use these giant arrows to find the next person to talk to.

Of course everything turns out to be suspicious and there’s lots of traitors and threats from every side.  One thing I did like about the book Digital Fortress, written by Dan Brown, is that there were parts where I honestly didn’t know who the bad guy was.  Luckily Dan Brown quickly tells information to make me pay attention to a specific character in his book Digital Fortress and I, the reader, can get back to the important part which is remembering that Susan Fletcher and David Becker are engaged and they are both very intelligent and very beautiful.

The crazy ending was kind of fun because everyone was in the same place sort of screaming and trying to solve the problem before the entire government was shut down, but other than that…  What the fuck, America?  This is one of our top selling authors?

In conclusion, I did not like the book Digital Fortress by Dan Brown.  Not only do I not care for this type of story, I could not get past the writing.  How does this happen?

I don’t care if this makes me sound like a book snob, but seriously, this is who we’ve chosen as one of our Must Read Authors?  For fuck’s sake.

My book group meets tomorrow and I’m bringing a giant list of discussion questions.  Apparently they all hated the book too, including the two people who suggested it for this month.  Way to make the rest of us pay for your mistakes.

#14: Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom by Rick Hanson with Richard Mendius, MD

When I’m not being judgmental, cold, cynical, sarcastic, fatalistic, angry, or hopeless, I try to be a better person.  Have a positive attitude, practice active kindness, find beauty and good in the world and all that crap.

My therapist recommended Buddha’s Brain to me after I tried to explain that I sort of understood that my brain was telling me things that weren’t necessarily true.  I understand on a logical level that my brain is trying to keep me alive and to fear change, even though in the long run these changes will be better than what I’m currently doing.

Buddha’s Brain is an incredible resource.  It starts with the neuroscience of what happens in our bodies when we react to situations.  Without being textbook boring, Hanson looks at current (2009) advances in neuroscience and what science is continually learning about the brain.  It’s fascinating and helped me understand how biological reactions immediately become emotional responses.

Hanson takes his time exploring the brain and giving solid examples of how this biological response becomes emotional response.  Even in the heaviest parts of science, he still includes emotional examples.  I often found myself thinking “Oh… OK, that’s happened to me.  This makes sense.”  Logically I understand how emotions can trick me into thinking something is dangerous, but having a neuroscience explanation made me slow down and really think about what my brain was doing to my entire body and how that was then affecting my emotions and behavior.

It’s really fascinating and I think people who are turned off by hippie-crunchy dirt worshiping drum circles of healing will respond to the facts and explanation of what is happening in your brain, why evolution has caused this to happen and how it then affects how your body feels.

A big part, if not the biggest part, of changing my attitude and behavior and not letting the cycle of panic and spinning thoughts take me over is practicing mindfulness.  And yes, here’s where the people who hate hippie-crunchy dirt worshiping drum circles of healing will cringe.  Please trust me when I say that you don’t have to participate in the drum circle.  It’s not required.

I balked when I was first learning how to be mindful.  It felt like a waste of time.  Why sit with my thoughts when I already know how I feel?  And I don’t WANT to pay attention to how I feel because I feel anxious, panicked, sad and hopeless.  Yeah, this sounds like a great idea.

However, I slowly came to understand how it works and how it helps.  It took me months before my emotional brain shut up for five seconds so my logical brain could process that no, this wasn’t going to kill me.  I fought it because I really thought it was a waste of time and energy.

But once I let myself just sit, I realized it was actually helpful.  Taking time to just sit in the moment and not do anything was OK and usually it was better than OK.  I realized that the things I was dwelling on were things I couldn’t do anything about in that moment, so why not pause that out of control voice and just sit and let my mind slow down and only pay attention to what’s happening right now.

When I finally understood this, holy shit you guys, it was like taking a huge breath of air after being underwater for a bit too long.  I realized my body was in this crazy tense state where my shoulders were pretty much level with my ears, my teeth were clenched, my stomach was tight, my hands were in fists and my brows were furrowed.  I didn’t even know I was doing this.  I wasn’t even particularly freaked out about anything.  I had trained my body to stay in this default setting so I’d be ready when my emotional brain started doing the dance of insanity.  Letting my muscles slowly loosen, I was astounded at how tired I felt.  I was spending all this energy ready to freak the fuck out, and in this moment of mindfulness I was giving myself permission to calm the fuck down.  There was no pressure though.  I just sat and breathed and didn’t really think about much other than sitting and breathing.

It was awesome.

Buddha’s Brain is all about these moments.  As Hanson explains the science of our brains he also gives practical examples and guided instructions on how to change what you’re doing and be mindful.  There are instructions for many different exercises and you can pick and choose what you want to work on.

I hesitate to use the word “instruction” because it sounds like you have to do it a specific way that someone else has come up with, but it’s not like that.  This is a framework that you adjust to what works for you.  There are parts that push you to go into a different direction, but mindfulness isn’t about having to do it This Way and where everyone does the exact same thing.

One thing I really liked about this book is that you can jump around.  If you’re not really interested in a part you can skim through it.  If it comes up later, Hanson refers you back to that part so if you’re confused, you can go back.  If there are practices or guidance for your behavior and thoughts that you’re not interested in, don’t do them.  There were a few that made me roll my eyes, but several times I realized that I knew I wasn’t there yet.  It’s so much easier to judge and dismiss something that acknowledge that it’s actually helpful but is going to take some work.

One of the things I like about mindfulness is that it’s not about being perfect or doing it all the time or following a certain set of rules or having to do it exactly like someone tells you to.  You get to figure out for yourself what is working.  After awhile you can branch out and try new things.  You learn to trust yourself and take those moments to just be.  What you’re doing in this moment is enough.  If you’re making dinner, why spend extra energy thinking of all the things that need to get done?  You’re not going to do them right now, so take a breath and pay attention to how it feels to simply stand at the counter and chop shit up.  Take just 60 seconds to think about how that food looks, the feeling of the bowl in your hand, the sounds of the knife against the cutting board, your breath filling  your lungs…  Yes, you do need to get a bunch of stuff done before going to bed, but right now you’re making dinner and that’s enough.  Let it be enough and let yourself just be in that moment.

It’s quite amazing.

It takes time and practice (which is another reason I fought against it.  I want immediate results!) and there are plenty of times where I’m not actively practicing happiness, love and wisdom.  Using this book will help you retrain your brain without having to play Hacky Sack, grow dreadlocks and buying a drum for the drum circle.  If that’s what you want to do, of course, then let your dreadlocks fly.  Please don’t use patchouli though.  No one needs to smell that.

Get this book.  Tag the pages that are interesting to you.  (Mine is filled with little sticky flags.)  Pick something that seems simple and start doing it.  When you feel like you need a little nudge to get back into a better mindset, pick an exercise and practice it.  If you feel like you are currently the mindfulness champion of the fucking world, flip through and see if there’s something you haven’t tried yet.

It’s an amazing book and I want to buy a copy for pretty much everyone I know. Even if you just flip through it, flip through it.  Maybe you’ll get some ideas about how to let yourself quiet those thoughts that never seem to go away.

Also, if you have to pick a spiritual leader to guide you, don’t you want to hang out with a fat and happy guy?

Seriously.  The dude knows how to have a good time.

 

Bonus Review! Lies, Knives, and Girls in Red Dresses by Ron Koertge, Illustrated by Andrea Dezso

This one is too short to count toward my CBR goal but I didn’t want to leave it off my review list because I really enjoyed it.

Lies, Knives, and Girls in Red Dresses is (are you ready?)  a collection of retold and re-imagined fairy tales.

I love this genre.  I don’t know if it’s possible to have a favorite of any type of book when you love books so much, but fairy tales and folklore are way up on the list, and when they turn into retold tales and urban fantasy, my knees get weak.

There are twenty two stories here, including Rapunzel, the Twelve Dancing Princesses, Hansel and Gretel, the Ugly Duckling, Rumpelstiltskin, Red Riding Hood, and the Princess with that damned pea.

The tales are told as short poems without much introduction.  We know who Cinderella is, so when we hear the aftermath from the stepsisters’ point of view, we don’t need to hear all that crap about the ball again.

To make these stories all the more sweet is the amazing mix between Once Upon and Time and Modern Time.

Cinderella’s stepsisters have surgery instead of their mother hacking off their toes.

Rapunzel’s mother talks about her three times a week therapy appointments.  The prince meets other princes in rehab while he waits for his eyes to heal.

The Little Match Girl is selling her CDs on the corner.  The cops find her dead, but what are you going to do?

A soldier makes a pact with the devil where he’ll wear the bearskin for seven years so his PTSD will stop.

The Beast is a bit bored now.  The weather is perfect, he’s a man again, but sometimes he really misses those fangs.

Hansel and Gretel?  Oh, they are pissed.  So very pissed.

Death makes his godson an amazing football player, poised to win the Heisman.  Things don’t go so well.

If you spit jewels when you speak and your sister spews toads, how on earth to you expect to keep a husband?

When you’re the only one speaking the truth about the Emperor’s New Clothes, how long can you hold out?

The miller’s daughter in Rumpelstiltskin?  Life is so boring after you’ve won a dangerous game.  Surely there’s got to be something much more dangerous out there in the woods.

Little Red Riding Hood is trying to tell the story to her mom, but god, stop interrupting me!  The whole thing was, like, gross?  But whatever.  I let him.  And then some dude shows up with scissors and it’s wicked gay, but whatever, I’m hungry and you need to get off my back, OK?

I love it.

The illustrations are amazing.  Koertge wrote some beautiful lines, but without Dezso’s art, this book wouldn’t have been as good.  The art is all black on white in  woodcut style.  The lines are sharp and deep.  Shadows and movement surround the cuts and you can almost see the red of the blood as it drips down someone’s chin.

Even better?  Dezso is an art professor at Amherst College, so I bet I could go see her work in person somewhere.  http://andreadezso.com/

Hole.  Lee.  Shit.  She did embroidery of things her mother said to her as a child.  Transylvanian moms are AMAZING!
http://andreadezso.com/DRAWING_embroidered.html

I need to stop looking at her page or I’m going to stay up for another hour and I should really go to bed.

In conclusion:

If you like folklore, fairy tales and slightly fucked up shit, get this book.  It’s much tamer than the monkey sex in Robert Coover’s Briar Rose but not purified like Disney.

 

#13: The Favored Daughter: One Woman’s Fight to Lead Afghanistan into the Future by Fawzia Koofi

Prior knowledge and wild guesses about Afghanistan:

• Al-Qaeda
• Taliban
• We’re at war with them?  We went there because something.  Bin Laden, I think?  I should know this.
• We have troops on the ground.  It’s been like ten years.
• We’re leaving now.  Have we already left?
• People say it’s made up of isolated villages and cannot be considered a unified country because people who live there don’t even really know what a country is, let alone know that they live in Afghanistan
• I read A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini a long time ago.  Some women had more freedom and were forced to give it up when the Taliban came into power.
• I read Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi.  I know that it’s about Iran, but I think there might be some similarities.  Maybe?
• I could probably eventually find it on a map.
• I really don’t know anything abut Afghanistan, but I think life there sucks, especially for women.

I picked up The Favored Daughter after seeing an interview with Koofi on The Daily Show.  She was promoting her book, speaking about her plans to continue in Afghanistan’s government, and the importance of fighting for her country.  She was calm and serious and you could tell that she lives her life with clear purpose.  She doesn’t have time to waste time, especially knowing that people want to kill her.  She plans to run for president and knows her life will continue to be in danger.  John Stewart was clearly in awe of her and his sincerity and respect for her story made me want to get her book.

I wanted to know why she is willing to die for her country.

The Favored Daughter is a wonderful mix of memoir and history.  Koofi tells her life story through the politics of Afghanistan because she cannot separate the two.  When explaining why she had to drop out of medical school, she first has to explain how her country changed when other countries interfered.  She has to explain how quickly the Taliban moved in.  She needs you to understand that although it was a patriarchal society where women had little to no rights, some women did thrive in their households.  She knows she cannot explain why a husband would beat his wife so that they could both be proud, but she does want to show you the love and community of her people.  Families are huge and will always be welcomed and helped  however possible.

Her story starts out with her intended death.  Girls were useless and when her mother bore this daughter, she left her in the sun to die.  Koofi did not die and her mother vowed to love and protect her more than any of her children.  Koofi’s father had several wives and she had many brothers and sisters.  Her mother ruled that entire household and it was amazing to see how she managed the other wives in a way that created a family and kept jealousy and anger away.

Koofi was born willful and stubborn.  Refusing to die was the first of her many steps to change her life.  She persuaded her parents and brothers to allow her to attend school.  She was rarely dissuaded from goals.  She would achieve as much as her brothers, for she too was her father’s child.  In fact, she was the only girl child her father asked to see.

As Koofi got older, she saw the power and danger of politics.  Her father served as a government official and people respected him a great deal.  However, this also made him a target and he was assassinated.  During this time, Koofi’s older family members and their neighbors did their best to protect the younger children, especially the boys.

As war explodes in Afghanistan from within (and yes, I still cannot explain the specifics), Koofi and her mother go to Kabul where they are safe.  Koofi loves it there.  She is free to go to school, to wear shorter skirts and a bit of makeup (as long as her brothers don’t see) and walk the streets with her girl friends.  She is a strong student and plans on becoming a doctor.

And then the Taliban move in.

And they move in fast.

She hears tales of this extremist group but no one seems to understand the threat or see what is about to happen.  One day she was happily out with friends and then the very next day she wakes up to young members of the Taliban who refuse to let a woman leave her house without a burqa.  Men and women are randomly gathered to be beaten.  No one can figure out the rules.  A Taliban soldier might decide he’s bored and target someone for not upholding the tenets of what it means to be Muslim.   Men and women are whipped in the streets, their homes are raided, stores are destroyed and forced to close, and anyone can be sent to jail at any time, simply because the Taliban is suspicious of something.

Koofi’s heart breaks when this happens.  She is furious with this perversion of  her Muslim faith.  These men are extremists and she hates how they’ve twisted words to gain power and how they’ve poisoned the minds of Americans and others into believing that this is what it means to be Muslim.

She watches as men who are against what is happening are forced to join in so they can get a job to feed their families.  Some are willing to help quietly, knowing that they could be beaten or imprisoned themselves.  The theme of community and family come up again and again as Koofi shows the kindness of her fellow Afghani.  On the other hand, young men who had no power before the Taliban came in are now greedy with their new positions.  They happily and mercilessly beat women in the streets.  They gleefully collect contraband and destroy it in front of families.  The report everyone they see.  They’ve been given power and it corrupts them quickly and completely.

Koofi watches in horror and shame as her country destroys knowledge and culture.  The Buddhas of Bamiyan are destroyed.  Colleges are shut down.  There is no entertainment.  Wedding ceremonies and celebrations are forbidden.  It’s painful and nearly unbearable, especially since such a short time ago Koofi and other women were able to go to school, to learn, and to begin better lives than their mothers had.  They still have moments of love and safety behind closed doors, but bombs have begun to fall and no one knows where the next threat will come from.

Koofi’s brother arranges a marriage for her, and she is pleased with the man, Hamid.  He came several times to seek Koofi from her brother and was turned away again and again.  He finally persuades the family and they are married, but without the traditional ceremony and celebration, which Koofi aches for.

They have two daughters.  Hamid is delighted with the first, but angry at the second for not being a boy.  Koofi never gets over this betrayal and anger.  However, she does not have much time to dwell on her hurt.  Soon after they marry, Hamid is thrown into jail by the Taliban.  Koofi goes there every day, demanding his release.  She doesn’t not know what the charges are or what is happening to him.  He is finally released and comes home, sick and weak.  She becomes pregnant with their second daughter, but he is taken in again.  This time he gets tuberculosis and they both know he will not live long.

As her story continues, she explains the changes in her country and her different levels of freedom helped me understand what was happening.  The women have their rights taken away, given back, made strong, made weaker, and all of this spurs Koofi into action.  A new government is being formed and it is time for her to take her family’s place.

She seeks the approval from her brothers, and of course is told she is forbidden. They have chosen the family’s candidate and will not let their sister be involved. Like always, she simply refused to hear the word “no” and pushes and pushes until they back down.  Although the ballots were tampered with, she wins.

And then she soars.

Watching her come into her own power is amazing and fantastic and humbled me greatly.  She’s given up everything in order to give others more.  She knows if she continues to work and work and work and make people from her country and from other countries listen, she will make Afghanistan stronger.  She loves her country.  She loves her countrymen.  She loves who she is and what she can do.

It’s beautiful.

I  hate that I’m waiting to hear a news story that she’s been killed.

She has been attacked several times and knows that her convoys are being monitored.  She travels throughout her country to speak with different members of different villages.  She is shocked into tears many times when elders greet her as her father’s daughter and respect her because they loved him.

Each chapter of the book starts out with a letter to her two daughters, Shuhra and Shaharzad.  She talks to them briefly about her history, their country’s history, and why she must dedicate her life to the people.  She often speaks candidly about the fact that people want her dead.  She acknowledges that she feels like she is abandoning them when she travels.  She lets them know how proud of them she is and how her mother would have loved them so much.  It’s inspiring and sad and makes me realize that I really don’t have any idea what’s happening in our world.

Again, I really liked how she tells her story through Afghanistan’s story.  She simply cannot separate the two because she is the child of her country and this connection has brought her through the terrifying times and pushed her through the ranks of Parliament.  There is much corruption in Afghanistan (and really, anywhere there are politicians) and she seeks to end it.  The largest part of her platform is women’s rights.  She is a threat to many in the country and this just makes her stronger.

If you know little to nothing about Afghanistan (that would be me!) then this is a great book because it explains things without being too overwhelming.  I’m not much interested in further reading, but I bet many people have gone on to read more about the country.  If you know a lot about Afghanistan, then I think this book will still be good for you because you get to follow one person and see the changes from a first hand view.

This was a good read.  It wasn’t a quick one, but it was fascinating and inspiring and I look forward to seeing what else she will do with her life.  I hope that it will be a long life.

Welcome, Sperm Enthusiasts!

Apparently when I talk about magic sperm and erotic rage, people relate.

And gentlemen.

My Sleeping Beauty Trilogy review has brought in several new followers and I welcome all of you to the musings of my mind when it comes to books.

I read a lot of different things, so hopefully you’ll find more reviews you like.  And if you’re only interested in my rants about sexy times, let me know and suggest some books.  I’m happy to meet the needs of those  confused and intrigued by all things sticky.

Note: I will not read the Shade of Grey series.  However, if you’d like to read an absolutely amazing breakdown of the shitty writing and plot, as well as how much it follows abusive relationship patterns, please head over to Jen Reads 50 Shades of Grey.  She is brilliant and funny and writes good erotica.  Her reviews are hilarious and intelligent.

 

If you go home with somebody, and they don’t have books, don’t fuck ‘em!

John Waters

Fantasy and SciFi: Whoops

I don’t know why I did it this way, but for some reason I fell into the Fantasy-SciFi tag and bookshelf.

I think it’s because they’re usually grouped together in the bookstore, but looking at my books, I read a lot more fantasy than scifi.  I think I need to make two separate tags/bookshelves and look at all my reviews to fix them.

I have noticed that some bookstore are giving them each their own section, so that’s good.

Anyone want to tackle my GoodReads shelf?

Also, go to FLOWCHART: Navigating NPR’s Top 100 Science Fiction and Fantasy Books.  It’s now interactive!

#12: Seraphina by Rachel Hartman

I was in love with this book a few sentences in.  By the end of the five page prologue I realized I was going to stay up all night reading it cover to cover, but it was a work night, so I forced myself to stop before 2:00am.  I was not happy about this.

Seraphina lives in the kingdom of Goredd.  There has been an uneasy truce between the humans and dragonkind for four decades.  The humans distrust the dragons living in Goredd, even though they remain in their human shape all year, except for the anniversary of treaty day.  Although time has passed, many in the kingdom still hate the dragons and wish to return to war so they may completely wipe them from existence.  A few hours into their cups and they seem to forget that the dragons are bigger and more dangerous than any one man.

The dragons are distant and logical, and humans confuse them.  They’re sort of a mixture of Spock and Aspies.  (I am aware that people will fight to the death defending the point that Spock is/is not an Aspie.)  Because they live so long, they see humans as quick flickers and don’t bother to learn things like emotion, body language, or even the correct pronouns.  Why refer to a baby as “she” when “it” works just as well?  Their world is pure logic and reason, and when they spend too much time with humans, they return to their Board of Censors where their minds are erased and all ideas of emotion are taken away.  Anything that can be considered self-pleasure, such as music or love, is pointless and makes a dragon weak.  It makes them humanlike, which is abhorrent.

When in human form, they must wear bells to distinguish themselves from the humans, although their manner would quickly show the truth.  Many wear their bells proudly, although a few try to keep a low profile so as not to attract the attention of the Sons of St. Ogdo, the group craving to rid the world of dragons, preferably in the most violent manner they can think of.  A few are allowed to remove their bells and study and teach without having to deal with Goredd’s human interference.

It is quickly revealed that Seraphina is part of both worlds.  No spoilers here; we know very early on that she is half human/half dragon.  This is an abomination on both sides and her father is furious and heartbroken that the woman he loved lied to him.  He didn’t know she was a dragon until she died in childbirth, silver blood pooling around her.

He creates a world of lies for the girl, possibly more to keep himself safe than her.  Perhaps if she was never born, he never would have know what his wife was.

Seraphina’s two sides are almost constantly at war.  Her mother implanted memories in her and if Seraphina is not careful she collapses to the ground, overwhelmed with her mother’s visions.  Her dragon uncle, one of the dragons allowed to teach in secret, has taught her to control her dragon mind and hide her identity to keep herself safe.  She must take time each day to calm her dragon side in order to maintain her secret.

And of course she almost blows her cover in the first chapter.

Her whole life she’s tired to remain invisible, but when she is forced to play at the Prince’s funeral, she’s suddenly known to all.

The Prince’s funeral threatens to destroy the treaty between Goredd and the dragons.  His death is suspicious and points to dragonkind.  They have sworn off eating humans, but perhaps their taste for blood has returned.

Seraphina finds herself on both sides, desperate to keep her true self hidden while saving both kingdoms and the treaty.

She quickly makes friends with members of the royal family as well as discovering that there are more like her.  These other abominations have also crafted secret lives for themselves and are horrified that there are others which makes their secret that much easier to reveal.  If  you’re the only one, you’re safe.  However, a part of them is relieved that they aren’t alone.

There’s lots of twists and turns and forbidden love and heartache and loneliness as Seraphina is forced to confront who she is and what it means.  How does she keep her friends and family safe and will she be forced to choose a side?  If her true nature is discovered, she’s not safe with the humans or dragons and if she is somehow not killed, there is nowhere for her to go that will be safe.

Family secrets are revealed and her own mind and memories begin spilling out  and she’s caught up in so many undragonlike and intense human emotions that it seems impossible that she won’t be found out by either side.  The constant hiding, lying, and redirections are exhausting and I kept expecting her to slip up or simply give in so she didn’t have to struggle anymore.

Hartman follows traditional fantasy paths and I liked it.  Seraphina is a fairly strong YA character, even though at times she does fall a little bit into the plot device of a lost young woman desperate for friends but forced to hide a terrible secret.  There’s also a teeny bit of Mary Sue lurking about when she quickly makes powerful friends who either willingly overlook her oddness or are completely blind to the signs.  I’m willing to forgive this because I liked all of the characters so much.  Sometimes it’s OK to use a pattern if you make it enjoyable.

I’m very pleased that this is Book One and I hope the follow ups get better and better as Hartman reveals more of the story and her writing gets stronger.

If you liked The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater or Kristin Cashore’s Graceling Realm series, then try this.  Seraphina isn’t as strong as the female leads in the others, but she’s a good companion.